Gareth was discovered washed up on a beach, bits of his birthing pod still attached, by a group of smelt fishermen of Portuguese extraction.  Not knowing what to do but figuring that he would make a good mascot for their football team, they took young Gareth home and raised him as their own.

It became apparent at an early age that Gareth was special, one of his favourite pastimes as a youngling was rhythmically sucking on clams.  His rhythmic clam sucking skills were so astounding that soon his keepers took him to London to set him busking on the streets.  The local authorities were not amused and he was soon sent to Beverley.  However fate would have a hand with this young clam sucking lad as a soon to be famous drummer happened to hear him sucking his clams in Camden and was to use his rhythm to propel his band to superstardom, all the while not giving a single pence to the boy in return.

When reaching adulthood, Gareth was encouraged to move to London by the Beverley town council, he did and soon entered Drum School (through the back door which was unlocked at the time).  Upon graduation he once again ran afoul of the local authorities and was sentenced to do five years with Riverdance as a stage drummer.

When his parole came up he returned to the land that he loved, a small pub in Beverley, where, bored and out of clams, he called a number on an advert that he saw in a local music shop from an American guitarist that was currently hiding in Hull.

The rest, as they say, will hopefully be history.

(bio was translated from the original chicken scratch by Kent)